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1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not

Do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with. If you are really not interested in the topic of conversation say so.

If possible change the subject or simply postpone that particular conversation until another time.

Obviously if there is a danger of offending the other person you will have to be less direct. In these situations it helps to find out right away what the other person wants or expects from you. Ask!

The conversation will right away become very relevant to you and maintaining interest is a lot easier.

2. Disliking The Other Person

If you do not like the person you are talking to it will come across at some level. Ask yourself — what could I like about this person? This will help put you in a better frame of mind.

And look for things you have in common by asking yourself - how is this person like me?

We all have something in common and commonality builds rapport. Look for it and you will find it.

If you mechanically attempt to get rapport with people while secretly disliking them you will never get that deep rapport you are aiming for. In fact if your focus is on how much you dislike the person you will not even want rapport and instead you will be setting yourself up for conflict.

3. Wanting Rapport With Everyone You Meet

I made this mistake when I first learned advanced communication skills.

All of a sudden, for the first time, I was able to get rapport with anyone I met. So I did.

And I recommend you do the same to a point. With one exception. There are some people you do not want to be getting deep rapport with.

Take someone who is like a raging bull with a deep resentment and hate for themselves and other people. Do you really want to feel the same way? If you get deep rapport you will feel some of the same feelings.

While you may need to be effective around such people keep your focus on your real goal. Deal effectively with the individual and maintain your own emotional state regardless of how upset the other person is.

Pay attention to your emotional state when dealing with negative people, manipulative people and others who will drain your energy. With these people rely more on the weakest element of rapport - words. And manage your body language without following their lead.

4. Not Speaking Their Language

We all have one primary sense whether it be visual, auditory or feelings based that dominates our perception of the world.

You need to get good at spotting which modality other people use and match their world to get rapport quickly and easily.

If someone is in a visual mode their words will be dominated by words that express what they see. For example the car is red with a white soft top and a huge back seat.

Whereas the auditory person describes the car in a different way: it sounds like a lion roaring when you start the engine and the CD player fills the car with deep, rich sounds that dance around your ears.

Finally the person most attuned to their feelings notices the smooth soft sensation of the leather seats and the warm firm feeling when they hold the steering wheel.

If you use the wrong modality for the person you are talking to it makes it harder for him to understand you. You have to work harder to get rapport.

And when you speak to several people at once make sure you use visual, auditory and feeling words to make sure you appeal to everyone.

Make a point of paying attention to the dominant modality your friends and family use. And you may have a breakthrough when you finally discover why you are not getting deep rapport with some of them while more easily getting along with other people.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm” target=”_new howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

I’ve had problems with fatigue and a lack of energy all my life. It would be wonderful to know why. I’ve asked doctors, read books, and learned that some questions just won’t be answered in my lifetime.

I’ve also learned that even without discovering the root causes of my tiredness, there are things I can do to alleviate it. Here are some of energy boosters that have worked for me and others over the years. Sometimes it helps to use several at once.

Energy Boosters

1. Breath deeply. Three slow deep breaths help oxygenate the blood supply better, and especially seems to wake up the brain.

2. Move. Often just getting up and washing the dishes, or walking around the house helps boost energy levels.

3. Talk about something interesting. Get a tired person to talk about something they’re passionate about, and watch their energy level rise. This one really works well.

4. Have a cup of coffee. Caffeine makes some of us more tired when it’s abused, but short-term, it can work wonders.

5. Play energetic music. Different types of music have different effects on us, but you can do this one by trial and error. Once you find the ones that work for you, keep them ready.

6. Try any of those “energy drinks.” The verdict isn’t in on most of them, but it’s a cheap option to try. I seem to get something from the ones with Ginkgo Biloba in them.

7. Get better sleep. As long as you get at least five hours of sleep, the quality seems to be more important than the quantity.

8. Exercise. This is a longer term solution, but many people notice an increase in their energy level when they get regular aerobic exercise.

9. Take a hot and cold shower. One minute of hot water, one minute of cold, alternating for six minutes. This isn’t for those with weak hearts, but it will wake you up. Incidentally, research shows that this also revs up the immune system.

10. Go outside. Sometimes a little sunshine and fresh air can be very energizing.

By all means try to find the reasons for your tiredness or fatigue. In the meantime, though, why not try some of the energy-boosting methods here? None of them are expensive, and you just might have more energy, starting today.

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You’ll find more at selfimprovementnow.com Self Improvement Now .com

Thinking about successful people and success I came to the conclusion ‘it’s not the age, it’s the energy’.

After years of ‘ageism’ it seems as if the corporates are at long last realising that the older employee may still have something to offer. It just amazes me they have to think about it. Surely if some one has the necessary enthusiasm and dynamism, it doesn’t matter how old they are.

In fact, if they are older, they can combine their energy with the accumulated experience and wisdom only available to those of us of ‘advanced years’!

My belief is that if you love what you do and it’s in a worthwhile reputable area, you will put in the necessary hard work to ensure your success. What’s more your commitment will show and rub off on those you come into contact with.

Self belief will sustain you through critical times. This is true as I know from personal experiences. Belief in yourself will allow you to stick with your strategy even in the most difficult of circumstances.

That belief in self also shows as confidence which in turn enthuses others even if the going is tough. If your strategy is only to pay dividends in the distant future you need to communicate with all of those likely to be affected and keep them appraised of the situation and progress. This engenders continued support.

Trust and mutual respect are essential in all relationships. You don’t need to be best of friends but you do need to have professional respect to function effectively. This means you may need to learn how to manage/relate to difficult people.

Some of the most difficult characters I came across in my corporate life were some of the most effective operators.

When people deliver and are effective you develop trust in them, and the reverse is true. Only when the right trust has developed will you be able to rely on what people are telling you. Beware the eager to please ‘yes’ man.

Official estimates indicate that jobless people over 50 are costing the UK £31bn and of the 2.7 million over 50’s who are not currently in employment, one million want to find a job. The economy is missing out on a massive resource. That alone should dictate ‘it’s not the age, it’s the energy’.

Tip It’s never too late to be what you might have been.

Article by Michael Harrison, Author, Publisher and Business Consultant. Learn from an expert: Go to: be-your-own-business-expert.com/ be-your-own-business-expert.com/
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